That time of year again

Santa at BA Stores

Its that time of year when approx 87% of small people under 4 ft in height go beserk and finalise their lists to be sent to St Nicholas or Santa or whatever you want to call him, that bloody Coca Cola advert appears on TV and the radio starts playing 'Stay Now' by East 17 on continuous loop sparking the seasonal reappearance of white fur trimmed parkas. Admittedly, as I get older, I'm getting more and more bah humbug about it all but thats probably a mix of a) age appropriate bah humbug-ness b) not being a kid anymore and therefore asking for A-Ha's latest album is deemed ridiculous and c) being very aware of the gross commercialisation of the whole bloody thing. I prefer to celebrate the Solstice (today) and then go burn stuff or watch other people burning stuff for Hogmanay.

However, when you are the parent of aforementioned small excitable chap, then you feel a certain warm fuzzy glow watching their little faces light up - mostly likely a sugar high - and so last Sunday I found myself talking to a robotic reindeer at BA Country Stores near Kintore. Now they do put on a fantastic display reminiscent of the German Weihnachtsmarkts. I was in the north west near Bremen just as they started winding up for Christmas last year and it was fabulous. Lots of lights and glitz but theres not the bankruptcy inducing gift giving there seems to be over here. Its all about family, and home made gifts - crafts and food - seem to be much more popular.

Bremen Weihnachtsmarkt

 ' Div ye ken foo tae work 'at thing noo?' the robotic reindeer said to me as I was struggling to take a photo on my iphone with one hand while trying to remain upright on crutches. I whispered if it didn't shut up, I'd turn it into casserole. Up yours Rudolf.

My little street

Don't get me wrong, I'm no Scrooge. I love spending time with my kids and family and I really love Christmas for that reason. This year I'm spending it with my parents, brother & his family and my kids and I'm looking forward to having memories sparked of opening presents in pyjamas when I was a little 'un - my brother and dad playing with the remote control lorries they'd given each other, me listening to A-Ha's latest album and dreaming of my wedding to Morten Harket and mum stood over the aga shoving one of our geese in the oven.

I also love it for the weather. In the seventies and eighties we had winters like winter should be in Scotland. Massive snowfall would start November and last until March or April with few breaks. I remember one year  opening the split 'stable' doors we had on our cottage in rural Morayshire and being faced with a wall of snow. I also remember the school minibus, which was driven my a maniac, getting my brother and I to primary school 6 miles away on roads that would be closed nowadays. If we got stuck he kept a few shovels in the bus and he and the bigger kids would get out and dig us clear. My primary school had 24 pupils. My year totalled 3 of us :)

Shortly after I left home in '86, the proper winters seemed to stop and its been rubbish for the past few years with them being wet as oppose snowy. However, this year and last have been crackers - lots of snow and temps down to -17degC and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a few more before I up sticks and move somewhere even more wintry anyway.

A96 Dual Carriageway - no, really, it is..

This morning was beautiful - lunar eclipse, a massive rising red sun and then a full cloud inversion leaving only the tops of Bennachie showing. I couldn't get outside as more snow has fallen but did my best out the window. Sorry about the tree - I'm planning a midnight massacre with my chainsaw once the snows go.

Bennachie from my window - click on it for best view

Eat, drink and be merry people. Love the ones around you, and be grateful for all you have. Or as a dear friend just threatened to shit in my coffee for being unbearably cheerful, Don't :D

Ho Ho Ho :)

A new resident

This young female roe deer has taken up residence in the garden. This is the third day in a row - at first she appeared to be injured - moving slowly and awkwardly - but after many hours peering at her through the camera, I can't see anything obvious (though I'm no expert) and she is eating well.  But she's hanging around for some reason and never leaves the garden boundary. She has no other company which is unusual too as normally they are fairly social (historically, they've hang around the fields surrounding the house in groups of 3 or 4). I've emailed a local deer group for their thoughts so we'll wait and see.

So far, so cold..

Its been so cold here of late. Temperatures have fallen to minus double figures, the snow started falling 13 days ago and for all but one day, it hasn't stopped. That's unusual here as we're not that far from the coast. Big falls are usually reserved for Ballater, Braemar and Donside but it is laying so deep here the track is impassable to all but high clearance 4x4's (and even then it's a struggle) which means I haven't been able to get out much other than in the landy at weekends for some impromtu photographic trips to Glenshee and up north -  but still, being snowbound has meant that no book has been left unread including the five new ones I've bought in recent weeks, new music has been discovered and I am one hundred percent absolutely caught up with every scrap of paperwork that was behind or due. I've also nearly completed writing one short story.

I won't deny it though. I long to be outside again - in the hills, under an alpine blue sky and whacking my punterish way up some fat ice or torquing up an easy mixed crack. Or y'know a peaceful winter walk would do. God, I'm even missing hot aches....

Anyway, heres some photos I've taken of the last week or two.

Freedom

Nope, not getting all heavy on you here as trust me, I have (as we all do) more than enough stuff going on in my life right now without having to find time to think about something else, however, in the recent past, circumstances have changed for me and it has revolutionised my life. Its not all been good. There have been many tears and I am left in a position which I like to call 'of no fixed abode' however, it has given me a lot of time to think about what and how I want to spend the rest of my life. Which, as you might have guessed, is good.

The answers are of no consequence to you dear Bob, and the circumstances from which this position arose are almost irrelevant, but it has been, and continues to be, an extremely cathartic experience.

It may be a transitional phase - in which case expect a completely contradictory post from me in the future - but right now, its all about freedom to think, to speak and to be [me] and I found this on another blog - perverse, as it summed it up quite nicely for me..

You have probably heard the expression 'If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was'.


But how about just living in a constant state of freedom? Allowing your human relationships [not just sexual] to flourish and grow continually by offering them complete freedom as part of a continuum.

"You are free to be with me now, as I am free to be with you. You know that if I stay it is because I want to be here. Because you are allowing me to make this decision continuously, you don't need to question my motives for being here."

In relationships with friends and lovers I genuinely think I've at least tried to offer complete freedom but within oneself? Is that attainable?

I've struggled with it all my life. I've tried to be many things to many people but expecting nothing from them. I would imagine that if I were laying on a couch right now, someone in cords would be telling me this is down to an insecurity or lack of self respect. I've tried to be one person - the forever rational, completely together, happy go lucky gal that everyone thinks I am - but I'm not. Talking with my mother at the weekend, she said I should not worry about trying to decide about which one of my [not very well hidden] multi faceted personalities I really am as I really am them all. I am hardnosed business woman, I am photographer, I am tree hugging hippy, I am giggling ship geek, I am reclusive writer. I am many things to myself and many things again to many others. Those who truly love me will accept that and once I truly acccept that I am many things, I will love myself.

Wise woman my mother :)

Faith

Today I saw a hint of reward from the work I and my guiding light, JB, have been putting in of late.

I have to say, its been weird so far. I mean, I am either a runner, or a cyclist or a swimmer. Never been three at once before and when told I had to cut my cycling down to two sessions per week and focus on my weakest discipline (running) in readiness for sticking them altogether for triathlon I was like, WHAT?? How will I survive? How will I cope? I'm going to get crap at it (again)! I'm going to have to start over!

The first step was learning to have complete faith in JB. She's more than qualified to steer me and hey, I could have said no at the start. It was hard to let go. I'm Miss Independant. Ask N. Its my most annoying trait. To give control to someone else, control over the things I enjoy - the things that make my life fun - and trust them to keep it fun, trust them to get you to where you want to go? I mean, I did it but not unquestioningly. I did not have complete Faith.

You have someone sat in front of you telling you to go against everything you've done so far. Reduce your activity time here, add this exercise there, reduce pace here, increase there, try this, get up at 5am and do this and after this, do that, stick to the plan and stretch girl, stretch! I cheated once, desperate for that naughty but delicious combination of pride and fatigue after a long, hilly, hard ride and and so cycled more miles than I was told to that day (but no more a distance than I regularly used to do) and got a sore knee. I got cocky once and thought I was ready to move up a notch in the running and in retrospect I now see why she sent me to see JD (another guiding light). JD chewed me up and spat me out...

So I trusted JB. It was slightly less painful than not to.

Today I saw that you can, if you have Faith and guidance in, and from, someone who knows what-the-hell-they're-on-about, maintain and infact improve on your performance in one particular area even whilst doing less. Today I did something I never, in a million years, thought I'd ever manage to do. It was for the superstars, it was for the really skinny ones [who ignored me as they zoomed past me on my solo bit of The Gurls Sunday Ride last week by the way]. I'm not going to say what it is because I'm not going to make you  sit and listen to my gasconade and anyway, I'm ridiculously superstitious and with the start of the next Series just a few weeks away, I need all the luck I can get but I really wanted to blog on the subject of Faith.

Its amazing.

You have to watch this

DARK SIDE OF THE LENS from Astray Films on Vimeo.

Autumn and Phase 2

Knockburn Loch

A very quick blast on the roadie this morning - 1000ft ascent & just over an hours riding. The forecast was for more rain (please god no!) but this morning the sun was splitting the sky so I took off on my favourite hill road after dropping Jnr at Nursery. Was rewarded at the top of Nine Stanes with the tail end of a cloud inversion over Strachan and Banchory and yes, I'm still loving hillage. The winding hill roads that I/we prefer to ride on (the alternative, the A93 is suicide) though stunningly beautiful at this time of year, are devillishly slippy and I could feel the tyres offering to slide away on a couple of corners so maybe it is time to swap the focus more towards mountainbiking unless the roads are really dry. Though the problem is more one of tyres versus slimy leaves/frost/grit, I've been having some problems with my brakes too but on recommendation of the lanky, tall, fast one (James :) at Ullapool, I have purchased and just received a set of Kool Stop (salmons) which are apparently - now how was this put again - "In the wet they work like Shimano in the dry & in the dry they work like they should". Sounds good to me!

I stopped in by Knockburn too - its my local triathlon training facility and is unbelieveably beautiful. You really do have to go there to get the full effect but imagine a [man made] loch with an island in the middle, in the middle of nowhere surrounded by hills, forests and heather and moorland  - thats it in the top photo. Imagine the peace and quiet on a morning like this morning - just the sound of your breathing and the occasional buzzard mewing high overhead.

Partial inversion, Scolty hill from Nine Stanes - Lochton

JB sent me my training plan for the next 8 weeks last night. Its to get me back to decent times for 5k in time for the duathlon in a couple months. Apparently she's not worried about my cycling as I'm strong but my running er.....yup...well I knew that LOL! I've never been able to balance two [or three] things at once. Its always been cycling or running or swimming so when I'm strong at one thing, I lapse with the others. I've been almost 100% focused on the roadie since April & I admit the running has taken a back seat so its great having someone to guide me - ok tell me :) - what I should be doing for how long, when and why. She also sent me an annual overview with my focus' for each month from now on as we enter Phase 2 (dum dum duuuuuuuum) and we're tweaking that over lunch on sunday before heading out on a long, slow one (probably on mountainbikes judging my horrific weather forecast) with the rest of the Gurls. Looking forward to it! Theres something about frost on the grass in the morning that makes a girl want to get her offroad kit on :)

Ullapool Beag 25th September 2010

"Sounds like a plan to me!" I heard myself saying to my mate Sue as she coerced me into doing I swore I'd never do in my life - enter a mass cycling event. I'm still not sure how she did it but on Friday 24th September I found myself in the Argyll Hotel in Ullapool halfway through a giant glass of red wine enjoying Gypsy Joe playing and almost agreeing it was a Good Idea.

What did I think of my first ever Sportive? To gain full effect, go and sit on a kitchen knife in a force 9 gale and read on dear viewer...


Hills. Lots of them. Never ending. Continuous. We have collectively decided that Ullapool is simultaneously 3000ft above and at sea level. That is the only possible explanation for the fact that we went uphill from Ullapool early on Saturday morning (with slight hangovers having been out till 11pm the previous evening) and came uphill to Ullapool on Saturday afternoon some 65.5 miles (105km to you foreign readers ;) and 7815ft (2380m) of ascent later.


I knew I could do the distance. My longest ride so far is 84 miles on my own with iirc 3000ft ascent but this was going to be double the ascent and more... in a word arghhhhhhh. Hills are ok. Like lemon meringue pies, I even enjoy them in moderation but too many can make a girl a bit queasy. However continuous hills (or lemon meringue pie) and headwind not so good. Hills, and the descending thereof, with no brakes (I'm writing a strongly worded letter to Shimano after this!!) also not good but I have now broken my downhill speed record which was, well, life affirming at the time especially considering some of the stories we heard after about people who came off descending at speed...



Professionals at work...we hadn't even left at this point..

 













Sue and I made a girly-wirly pinkie pact right at the start when her husband (who's a roadie machine) persuaded us to enter it, to cross the finish line together. She's only been road cycling for a couple months, but I swore I would not leave her behind even if it meant towing her. We also swore not to do this as a race and pile on the pressure and so stopped to take photos and stuff and admire views and passing men in lycra. Her husband Terry and his mate Ron were doing the Ullapool Mor (130 miles with 13000ft of ascent) and James (also Terrys mate) did the Beag like us (though being much faster, thinner and taller - oh yeah, and better - shot off like a thing possessed leaving us wondering if a pot of tea and a scone might be a better idea)

Pretty much as flat as it got. Can't complain about the views though..

The weather was cold but dry and had it not been for the headwind, especially coming round the backside of Stac Pollaidh, it would have been perfect cycling weather. We rode alone so none of that group riding angsty malarkey. We had no punctures and Sue's chain came off only once. The views were spectacular as you can imagine. Ullapool and Lochinver were second home(s) to me in the early noughties and it was great to be back.


Fit men in Lycra. Always good.





















HM Coastguard were the safety team and I have to say to the two who kept following us and who had obviously laid bets on whether the giggling idiots were going to finish or not ...."ner ner ne ner ner". And thank you for cheering us on up the final hill. There were a lot of great people involved and the marshalls and food-stop folk really kept the mood buoyant. Thank you to Hands On Events who organised it and every single person who helped. Especially Aunt Edith at Lochinver :)

An Teallach...sexy

We finished in 6:30:05 (me) and 6:30:09 (Sue) and it was the best feeling in the world. I know there are some of you who do this every month and for longer distances in half the time and with more ascent but I'm chuffed because in one ride I got over my fear of Getting A Shit Time in a 'race' and not giving a hoot about it and also facing major hillage.

Baosbheinn...sexy

We all went out to the Argyll again for food after showering and Martin Stephenson was playing. 4 carafes of a nice red were quaffed. I can highly recommend the Argyll Hotel for entertainment and food. Its rocks. Literally. I can also highly recommend the B&B we stayed at but I'm not telling you where that is in case you steal our room sometime :)

Slioch - the sexiest of them all





Coming up the hill from Inverkirkaig

I can also highly recommend Sportives if you haven't done one yet. Now if you're like I was a week ago - sitting there thinking "yeah right matey" - just do me a favour and sign up anyway. You will feel a bit sick, your stomach will turn inside out, you will wish death upon whoever convinced you to enter but you will not be disappointed.

Gairloch

Came home today via Laide and Gairloch, the sun splitting the sky, the mountains all pointy and sexy and had it not been for my crushing hangover ........

Ah well, roll on April and the start of the 2011 Hands On sportive season :)

6hrs 30 later (or 4:37 for the taller lankier ones..)...tired but reeeeallly happy!

You may have noticed a small change to the site

Yes, today folks, I began my fourth decade on this planet. These are now the ramblings of a forty something..

Its been a good day. I rescheduled my gastroscopy because, well, thats not much fun on your birthday is it and I turned off the laptop and my phone at midday after working this morning and spent the afternoon with a friend having scones and coffee and cycling and buying cycling kit.

Tonight I shall luxuriate in a bath with a book and go to bed because tomorrow, will anything have changed? No. I'll still be me and it'll just be my 14601st revolution round the sun.

And back to it!

I'm back to it. I feel its return - the urge to get out. The knee has stopped whining and I can now walk downstairs, run (slowly and gently) and move about pretty much as before it twanged. No, I didn't go to the doctors and yes, I realise this was stupid and might lead to long term damage but having kinda narrowed 'it' down to a cause myself, I don't want to go to the doc admitting fault.

So yesterday morning I went out for my first tentative run. Just 20 minutes at a really slow pace on the trail. No hills just softish compacted trail. Lots of stretching afterwards and this morning knee seemed fine so I met up with a new friend JB for our first ride out together. 25 miles as that's the distance I'm training for and she competed at. I have to say I'm still grinning. It was one of those rare days when everything is right. The sun is shining (mostly), the ever present wind has dropped to gusts below 30mph (mostly), when your shoulder blades don't ache, when your knees don't hurt on even the hardest of hills, when your legs find a natural rhythm and when you have teeth covered in flies because you've just been grinning so much. Despite the fact we were very nearly dislodged by gales as we neared the top of the second  and third hills, it was one of the best rides of my admittedly short cycling career.  Really looking forward to our next meet up in a couple days!

I know, I know....

....Its been ages, I'm sorry but its been a bit hectic round these parts. Jobs, schools, houses...everything is changed or has already changed. All came out of bad but despite flipping our lives completely 180, has actually been the best thing that's happened to us in a long time.

Unfortunately, with the to-ings and fro-ings, it left little time for formal exercise. However! The inaugural meeting of the Deeside Women's Cycling Club (henceforth known as DWCC) was held early this morning and we did a very quick hilly 20 miler. The whole point of this club is to appeal to those completely disinterested in competing in races or within a club environment. There's no ego bashing, no 'my bike is better than your bike' and we all like cake. The pace is generally midway between fastest rider and slowest.

With exception of a couple rides and runs since coming back from Menorca mid -August, I've not been out so I set off this morning completely expecting to struggle up any of the hills but oddly I felt fresher and stronger than ever before. Yes, the pace was slower than normal (we averaged about 13mph) but hills that I usually have to totally focus on, I was chatting and looking around whilst ascending! Could it be that I had overtrained (sorry, still laugh when I use the word 'train') prior to the holidays and this break has given my body the rest it needed? Topped up the glycogen stores? Who knows but I'm sitting here tonight with a big grin.

Tomorrow I'm working at the bike shop (my only day there now as I want to keep a hand in but otherwise I'm back to offshore logistics/engineering) and mountainbiking. I'm really excited to try Bobs new forks out. I got him a pair of really old but pristine Marzocchi Bombers (Z2) but haven't had a chance to try them out. Its been torture but the weather is looking good tomorrow again so I'm either going to get up way early and get a couple hours in before work or go after.

So thats it for now. Its been a roaster of a day and I spent the afternoon off from bids and procedures and stuff and went bramble picking with Jimbob.

Perfect really :)

Update from the homestead...

My daughter Sara and grand-daughter Heather arrived from Germany yesterday - its been a year since I saw either of them except via Skype and its been great catching up and seeing them both in the flesh instead of over some computery highway thingymajig.

Sara..

The sun has even stayed out all yesterday allowing us to get out in the garden and for me to get a 10k run in the morning stopping briefly to speak to a couple of the marshals for our cycle clubs (DTCC) 50mile TT. It was already scorchingly hot at 9am and I don't envy them the route! I ran ok but I'm getting some pain under the ball of my left big toe and extends along the side of my foot till mid arch - which remains even when my foot is rested. Possibly the result of wearing nothing but flip flops for the past fortnight but even wearing my new(est) running shoes didn't help. Thankfully I'm cycling and swimming for next two days so can rest it a bit.

Other news from here is that we have chicks! One of our hens went broody a couple weeks before we went on holiday and we looked for her when we got back but no sign - and so presumed she'd abandoned the clutch & been taken by a fox....that was until Sara said "awwww chicks" and pointed to 8 fluffy little guys and gals binging about after their mum!

Less cute but no less tasty (he heh!) are the vine ripened tomatoes we returned to as well.

Sara and Heather left this evening and I'm sad but I get to see them for a full fortnight in a month so not so bad. So now, a glass of wine and back to sorting out the massive changes happening here - more on those later!

Only mad fools and Englishmen...

...(and people desperate to keep some semblance of fitness) go out in the mid day sun. Oh OK, it wasn't mid day at all but rather 5am (thats 4am UK time people - kudos please for my sheer determination!) that saw me trotting along the beach on the southern tip of Menorca for the past fortnight.

I decided not to take the bike as last year I saw no other cyclists, however this year, it seems to have exploded in popularity as a sport - both roadie and mountainbike - on the island much as it has elsewhere in the world! They have even built designated cycle paths alongside but raised off the main roads including white lines down the middle to separate the directions!

Early morning swim laps Binibequer beach

So yeah, had to 'make do' with swimming in azure blue coves and running along cliff tops that made my heart ache with their pure, unspoilt beauty. Oh and paddling and going in those ridiculously funny round boat things and snorkelling and other water sports (you at the back - stop giggling). Menorca was declared a Biosphere Reserve by UNESCO back in 1993 and so is the least touristy of the Balearics and even at the height of its tourist season - august - when mainland Spain also shuts down and migrates south - at 5am, you have the place to yourself (save the odd other runner). Its also about the only time of day temperature wise that this poor northern European body could hack running in! At nights it drops from average 32 - 36 deg C to 28 deg C with about 84% humidity but as the sun rises......eeeek!!! You know that scene in The Chronicles of Riddick where they're trying to outrun the sunscorch on Crematoria? That was me that was...

The first half of the second week I was less determined due to well, PMT and so decided to sod any exercise that didn't involve light toodling, drowning myself in Hierbas and giant prawns thus ruining any good work done in previous week :) however we moved villa to one on top of a very steep hill and as a result, for the first time ever...I maintained weight on holiday despite eating more food that I ever thought possible. I've also discovered a really hilly route for the roadie next time!

5am runs.... good for the soul

It was a great holiday and I'm now depressed about being back but was happy to get out for an easy couple hours on the roadie this morning to spin out the old muscles, stopping briefly at the shop to say hi and try out a new time trial bike the Boss had told me someone was selling. Its nice and it fits and I want it but I'm saving my money - there are plans afoot to return to the Island for longer at Christmas.

Anyway back to it tomorrow in earnest. Got a couple of 10k's coming up sooner than I'd remembered lol!





Lawrence, Lily and The Green Berets

I'm proud to present to you my son, Royal Marine Commando Gordon J Cruickshank of 101 Troop, The Kings Squad who will be, in about 4 hours, drafted to Fleet Protection. All mothers are proud of their kids achievements and I have been of all four of my kids but in each of their lives there have been milestones - receiving his green beret was Gordons and if I ever stop blubbing it will be a miracle :)

My middle son Keiran and I spent a few days down south visiting family in Gloucestershire, Manchester and attending Gordons passing out parade in Devon. It was great, if emotional and tiring, and wouldn't have missed it for the world. It was also scorchingly hot - 34 deg C on Friday. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Cirencester a stones throw apparently from Lily Allen and Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. They live in this lovely area that backs out onto savannah-like grassland and its like being on permanent holiday!Was lovely to catch up with everyone as its not often we get to be in the same place at the same time.

Dad, Cousin, Aunt, Mum, Me, Uncle and Lola the dog

I have though, despite packing my running shoes, not done any exercise since Wednesday and boy do I feel it. I feel fat, bloated (though to be fair, that could have been the three family packs of sports mixtures Keiran and I managed to eat over four days..). I tried but every time I thought I had 30 minutes for a run, something happened and I was diverted. Or I found myself driving round Manchester at 2am looking for sodding Travel Lodges.

Kieran at Exmouth

So this morning (my first back at work), I took the hardtail in. It was a gorgeous morning but the rain from the past few days up here has left everything very muddy so I was clarted by the time I got in. I got new Marazocchi forks for it today. They're lighter than the old crap forks but still quite heavy but bombproof. I've been after a pair for ages but they were always so expensive until I landed a pair cheaply. So now, with the exception of a set of new wheels, the hardtail is nearly rebuilt. Looking forward to giving it a good test out on wednesday!

Sidmouth by night

Tomorrow though, back to 6am runs! I've lost a week out of The Plan and its going to be hard enough keeping to some semblance of it whilst on holiday in Menorca as it is! Tonight in Mahon (just a few km from where we stay) its 25 deg C so I reckon I'm going to be up at 4am running before it gets too hot! Daytime temps are 30 deg + so I will mostly be spending the days in or under the water :)

Well, back to the packing and washing for me. Its such a glamorous life :)

Gordon and Me